Are My Kids Totally Fucked Because I’m Their Parent?

(Taking a look at Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma, Post #1 of many to come)

Possibly the question that haunts me the most is the question of intergenerational transmission of trauma – the fact that trauma can be passed down. I first heard of it through the study of epigenetics, specifically research looking at the children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors showing changes to chromosomal structure that were inherited by later generations. I’ll definitely be exploring this research later on.

There are other ways in which trauma can be passed down to children. Perhaps the most commonly known is ‘The Cycle of Violence‘. Through watching violence, children begin to accept that violence is a reasonable solution to interpersonal problems. They then grow up to abuse or be abused. The research on the cycle of violence is mixed, there are a number of factors that can mitigate its effects such as pursuing education and having a higher social class.

The Cycle of Violence simply isn’t a concern for me. I know I won’t hit my kids, even when tempted. I’d rather hit the wall (BTDT) or a pillow or lock myself in the bathroom and cry. But there are so many other ways in which PTSD from abuse in childhood (sometimes called Lifelong PTSD) can affect the parenting relationship.

The first study I looked at was “The Role of Infant Sleep in Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma” by Hairston et al. (2011). Honestly, I started here because I figured we were past the point of infancy, and it would be less likely to emotionally wound me.

Oops.

It simply hadn’t occurred to me that PTSD would affect how I managed my kiddos sleep. And yet, in this study, PTSD was a significant factor in how well infants slept at 4 months and 18 months. Bonus: lousy infant sleep is a good predictor of behavior problems, which the authors also found true in this study.

In a nutshell, the authors did phone interviews with 184 first-time mothers at 4 months postpartum to assess infant sleep, postpartum depression (PPD), and bonding. 83 had experienced childhood abuse and developed PTSD, 38 experienced abuse and didn’t develop PTSD, and 63 didn’t experience abuse or have PTSD. At 18 months, they observed the mothers and children in a laboratory play setting, as well as did a follow-up survey on the same variables.

Some important findings:

-The mothers who developed PTSD more often experienced multiple forms of abuse. They also had less education, income, and overall lower rates of employment than the other mothers, consistent with the research showing that multi-type abuse has more serious consequences.

– There were no differences in bedtimes and waking up times among the infants. But infants of mothers with PTSD woke up more during the night, leading to worse PPD and more challenges bonding with their infants.

– Infants of mothers with PTSD expressed higher anxiety at bedtime and had less ability to self-soothe.

– Mothers with PTSD reported more trouble bonding with their infants and toddlers, especially male babies and toddlers.

– PTSD did not seem to impair bonding with the baby, but PPD did.

The authors hypothesize that mothers with PTSD had anxiety about separating from their infants at bedtime, and so engaged in more soothing behaviors like rocking and singing, which (according to research) leads to more waking up overnight. In addition, the mothers might have attended to their babies every cry, which didn’t give the babies a chance to learn how to self-soothe. The babies of mothers with PTSD may also have had higher levels of anxiety.

Another possibility is that the mothers’ higher levels of anxiety led them to conclude that their babies were sleeping poorly and waking too often. The only measure of sleep behavior was from the mothers, and it is possible that, especially as first time mothers, they weren’t aware of typical infant sleep patterns. Considering that the mothers with PTSD were also less likely to have achieved higher education and were of a lower socioeconomic class (and thus have less access to books, internet, etc), I think this could be a significant factor. I spent a LOT of time researching infant sleep when my first was a baby (I had plenty of time to do this, since she woke up every 2 hours for the first year of her life). But that option may not have been available to these mothers.

One thing the authors pointed out is that they didn’t have data on pre-natal anxiety, which also affects infant sleep (see O’Connor et al.2007). Mothers who experienced anxiety while pregnant had babies who slept poorly through infancy and early childhood.

I wish I better understood how they scored the laboratory play visit. I know that at 18 months both of my kids would have been on my lap for that entire visit. Neither particularly likes new places, and they take a while to warm up to them. Neither likes large groups of people. At 18 months, I was taking both to play groups and both would sit on my lap for the entire time, watching other kids. When they got home, they would practice skills they saw the other kids doing (this is how the oldest taught herself to jump) – both learn by observing. I wonder how they would have been coded by the researchers: anxious, clingy, dependent? As opposed to observant, cautious?

When I was 4 years old, I began checking my baby sister at night to make sure she was still breathing. I did this regularly (almost nightly, and sometimes several times/night) until I left for college. That’s probably not something normal. I don’t let myself check the kids’ breathing now (it would wake them), but I do listen for it. I wake up when they toss and turn at night. I soothed them constantly as infants, though I didn’t rock or sing them to sleep (my singing wouldn’t send anyone to sleep). But both sleep through the night (they are ages4 and 2), and put themselves back to sleep when they awake. So I guess it worked out OK.

It’s not exactly a surprise, but I still find myself unsettled to think that every single parenting decision I make might be influenced by trauma. I expected my decisions around discipline, food, and emotional expression would be influenced by PTSD, but I hadn’t thought my choices around sleep would be. And yet, I can see how my anxiety could play a role in choosing to co-sleep and room share.

How about you? Was your experience reflected in this study? Join me at www.facebook.com/QuietStormsCO to chat about this.

References: 

Hairston IS; Waxler e; Seng JS; Fezzey AG; Rosenblum Kl; Muzik M. The role of infant sleep in intergenerational transmission of trauma. SLEEP 2011;34(10):1373-1383.

O’Connor TG, Caprariello P, Blackmore ER, Gregory AM, Glover V, Fleming P. Prenatal mood disturbance predicts sleep problems in infancy and toddlerhood. Early Hum Dev 2007;83:451-8.