I wouldn’t wish my childhood on my worst enemy.
It was marked by poverty; stress; physical, sexual and emotional abuse; and loneliness.
It wasn’t the worst childhood you ever heard of, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I learned to live with constant fear. I learned how to read emotions in microseconds, how to duck from hands that were swinging at me, how to hide what I was really thinking. I learned how to sleep when my stomach was growling, how to make a candy bar really last, and how to make meals that cost less than $4 and fed 4 people.
Most of all, I learned how to survive.
And then I decided surviving was certainly a good thing, but it wasn’t good enough for my life. I aimed to thrive. To enjoy my life, to share with others, to feel love daily, to laugh often. To taste many different food and emotions, to experience luxury, to feel pride in myself.
Unlearning the lessons that kept me alive as a child was hard work. It may be work I do for the rest of my life. But I’ve made significant progress. My days are not characterized by fear. They are full of love and the laughter of my children, myself, and my partner. While I still read emotions in a microsecond, I hope that it makes me a better parent and lover. My children never sleep hungry and neither do I. I create joyfully, regularly.
I don’t hide what I’m thinking any more.
I live and love out loud.
Getting here could have been easier. If I’d had someone to show me the shortcuts to making changes, a mentor who’d lived through hell and come out the other side.
Now, I’m going to be that mentor for others. I’m going to share what happened and what I’ve done. Join me for a conversation that can bring your happiness and laughter, peace and safety, creativity and abundance.